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More on Groups- copyright 2008 Robert Henry
The article featured in Volume 62 brought some interesting emails from people. Overwhelmingly (80% or more) AGREED wholeheartedly with the premise of the article.
Just a few emails were from people that somehow felt slighted by the jist of the article. I liken this to when you are sitting in church and the preacher is discussing specific sins. Now there might be 20, 200 or even 2,000 people in attendance, but somehow people feel the message was designed SPECIFICALLY FOR THEM. I'm not sure how preachers pull this off, but they do.
The article was NOT designed to "call out" anyone. The purpose of the article was- as was stated- to get folks to do some INTROSPECTION. This isn't just a "new age" type idea. Scripture tells us in 1 Corinthians that if we would judge OURSELVES, we should not be judged. Scripture also tells us not to put ourselves in front of others ("preferring one another"). That verse alone accounts for 99% of the problems in groups. Go back and look at some of the problems listed in Volume 62, don't the majority of them stem from selfishness and pride?
OK, so now that we've covered how NOT to act in a group setting. Let's cover a few helpful things.
Let me preface this with the fact that I am not personally apart of any preparedness group and haven't been in some time. However many many moons ago I was one of the founders of a successful group in another state and I consult regularly with several groups on the East coast. This gives me quite a bit of experience in this subject matter- as regular readers can attest. This being said, I am NOT apart of a preparedness group. I tend to write in the first person "I would look for this" understand that my intent is NOT to say that "I" personally am looking for a group.
First and foremost it's important for some of our "old timers" to realize that there is a whole new "crop" of survivalists, most of which are POST Y2K and even post 9/11. Some are post Katrina as well. Having interacted with a considerable number of them, it's my overwhelming opinion that the vast majority of them do not understand the basic concepts that made survivalism what it was for the previous 20 years.
Newer guys- understand I am not disrespecting you here, please read this whole thing before making a rash judgment call.
Certain things that were just considered "the norm" from the inception of the survival movement through the early 2000's are now looked upon as "new ideas." For years you didn't have to tell people not to talk about there preps to strangers, folks just knew that. Now a days, people mention "keeping your preps secret" with grandiose terms like "the gray man" and think this is some new concept. This is Survivalism 101 type stuff.
Here's some general ideas to consider-
1. You shouldn't discuss SPECIFICS about your preps to people you don't know. Bragging that you have "20,000 rounds of ammo and six years of food" just isn't necessary. Let me say this, before someone calls me a hypocrite- look back at things I've wrote both here and other places on the net. Never have you seen me give specifics. Quite the contrary. Also, being in an educational capacity, it's hard to help teach folks AND stay completely in the shadows at the same time. To that end, I have put more emphasis on helping others than simply hiding from view. That being said, there's a lot one can do :) The point is that you CAN talk about prep related stuff and not divulge that "I have 2 years of food in my cellar" type stuff. I realize with the internet there is a huge push to 'brag' about stuff, resist that urge. You ARE anonymous to a point on the internet, TO A POINT. A rather rash and abrupt fellow on one of the message boards was running amuck of everyone asking questions then talking in circles when answers were given to him. I watched some of what he wrote and could deduce in a relatively short period of time what he did for a living (very specific thing, you'd find maybe 2-3 people in a whole county doing this) and the general area to where he lived. More to the point he gave other specifics. Later he came to a gathering and ended up being a nice guy, just rather anal-lytical and unemotional. Talking with him after a while he kept referring to his job, I asked what he did and I was 100% correct on his occupation. Be very careful, even on the net. I'll never forgot some fellow on one of these smaller boards. He was quite an emotional little man, jumped me and a couple others over a vague theory we were discussing with him. He told us how he was a 'gray man' no one knew him, etc. Well in that same thread, he posted picture of his vehicle, to include HIS LICENSE PLATE!!!!
Anyone with any type of background in detective work, surveillance, intelligence gathering can pick up quite a bit of information about you based on what you post on the net or what you tell them.
2. You should avoid being too "upfront." What does this mean. This means don't ask questions you don't have the right to ask. This means that the other person is trying to keep it on the "down low" also. You should answer questions based on the amount of trust the person has developed with you. If you are just meeting the person you should NOT feel obligated to tell them much more than your first name and the city you live in. Vague questions like "are you storing food?" Seem to be acceptable but again SPECIFIC questions should be avoided- i.e, "so do you have at least 2 years of food? Where do you store it?" To the average survivalist this last statement says "this guy wants to steal my food!" Think before you speak.
There are a LOT of paranoid folks out there. At the VERY LEAST you will "run them off" if you start asking specific questions right off the bat. Again, there is a FINE LINE to walk. As most serious groups will want to KNOW FOR SURE that a prospective candidate IS storing food and in a reasonable quantity for his family. Why would a real group want to know this- it's a simple test to see how serious a potential candidate is. Guns are fun, gear is cool but FOOD is what will keep you alive. I honestly would not care what weapons someone had, or even what training they had (you could teach a monkey most of the skills necessary for survival), I would be more concerned about the following:
1. What there general attitude and character is like. If they are untrustworthy in the little things, they will NOT be trustworthy on the big things. Do NOT kid yourself here. A pinhole in a tire might not even leak air when the car is sitting still, but under PRESSURE and HEAT from driving fast, that pinhole might cause a BLOWOUT!! Get the picture? Is the person a chronic liar? Everyone seems to expect a little self promotion now a days, but how far does it go? I've met a lot of folks that while online claimed to be Seals, Rangers, special ops guys. When you interacted with them at a campout, it was obvious to Helen Keller that they were not. My advice- don't lie about your background, it will only blow up in your face.
Is the person prideful? This is usually easy to spot early on. Seems to be more prevalent with the younger crowd. I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little cocky knowing what I knew at 18. Sometimes age and real experience around humble AND experienced folks can help this.
Is the person a good steward? Test them. Loan them a book, give them something they have to "pay later" for- or give them the option of paying later. How did this work out? Yes sometimes people forget, I understand that.
2. What is there family situation? I don't care if your divorced, have kids or don't have kids. I care that you and your wife actually GET ALONG and can spend a weekend hanging out, working together without having serious blow ups. I care that your kids are not undisciplined little crapheads that only listen under threat of severe punishment. Why should you care about these things? BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE TO SPEND LONG PERIODS OF TIME WITH THEM. And "little" things become huge matters under stress. I personally don't care if the spouse (wife or husband) is actively a part of the preparedness, but I would look to see if they actively SUPPORT the preparing spouses decisions. NOTHING HAMPERS FAMILY PREPAREDNESS MORE THAN A SPOUSE THAT DOES NOT "UNDERSTAND" OR WORSE YET IS "FORCED" INTO THIS. What usually evolves from this is that the spouse gets "bitter" because of the time and money spent on preparedness and eventually a serious conflict ensues. Trust me on this, I would say this is the #1 problem keeping people from being useful to a survival group. Men (and women that find themselves in this position) should invest the time in there RELATIONSHIP with there spouse more than putting another can of beans on the shelf against the spouse's will. When the chips are down, we have to be able to DEPEND on our families and KNOW that they WILL do the right thing, the first time without being told. If you are not at that point, NOW is the time to get there.
3. Do there core beliefs "jive" with the rest of the group? I don't necessarily mean religous beliefs, although that does factor in greatly. I'm talking about the mundane stuff. Is it going to be a big deal if someone yells "$hit" when they hit there hand with a hammer? Is having a beer at the end of a long day of work in the garden going to be a big deal? What I'm NOT talking about- AR vs. AK, Glock vs. .45, Ford vs. Chevy this stuff is NOT what I'm talking about.
4. What is there seriousness level? Notice that this is NUMBER FOUR. What is the "common thinking?" The "common thinking" is that if someone has a lot of "stuff" or a needed "skill" they ought to be accepted in a group post haste! No better way of screwing up the gameplan! There are doctors and dentists that I wouldn't want to be around for a long period of time. There are guys with tons of supplies that would be WORTHLESS to a group when the time comes. Judge not by material possessions or skill sets or you might be sorry!
So let's say you found a prospect, how do you go about moving forward with him/her?
You know, cyberspace is great, the internet's ONLY contribution to the survival movement has been the sense of "community" that has developed on certain survival forums. Now these forums and the net in general are just the place for the introductions to be made. I don't care what you think, you cannot achieve a real sense of "knowing" someone if your relationship exists only on the net. How many would be lovers and romantic seeking types have found this to be true? Things are often very different in REAL life. Real life is where you should make the judgment calls.
Back to the "seriousness level"- First and foremost, are they storing food? This needs to be looked at in relation to how long they have been interested/involved in survivalism. Someone that's "been around" for more than 2 years should have at least a six month supply of food for there family, NO MATTER there financial condition. They might be "tight on money" but if they WANT IT BAD ENOUGH they WILL find a way. Besides I've already shown readers a simple food supply that costs less than a $1. a day. If they can afford to be on the net- THEY CAN AFFORD FOOD STORAGE! No excuses here in my book. If they have a family and are not storing food, I would encourage them to do so and check back with them in six months. If no progress is shown WALK AWAY FROM THEM. I can't stress enough the importance of food storage and it's relationship to the seriousness of the prospect. Your average "gear hound" cares little about having food storage, same goes with the guy that cares only about weapons. These types of folks are NOT real survivalists. REAL survivalists have food storage. That's the simplest, easiest way to explain it. 22 years experience in this and meeting with literally tens of thousands of like minded people has taught me this.
I would consider the food storage aspect and the family issues the "acid test" of weather the person is responsible enough to join up with.
So your looking to met some like minded folks. How do you go about it.
First and foremost NEVER bring someone you do not know or haven't known for a while to your retreat/bug out location or your home, NEVER. There is no reason to ever do this on the INITIAL meeting. The initial meeting should be in a public location, for example- meet and have lunch, meet up at a gunshow, a public campout. Only YOU can make the judgment call as to when you are ready to bring someone to your home, BOL/retreat, etc. Do NOT make that call too quickly, especially if you live at your retreat.
Dress normal. No BDU's, "death to the NWO" t-shirts, combat boots, etc. Many many moons ago a rather abrupt and inquisitive man that I knew from teaching at campouts called me up. "Hey Robert this is Mike (that isn't his real name), I have Todd with me (not a real name) and we are going to come to your house and talk with you, where do you live?" Whoa Nelly! Ahhhh No! Not just no, hell no. I offered to meet them at a local restaurant. Again, I had previously only had a few minutes experience talking with either of these fellows and honestly, one was WAY too public and abrupt for my liking. Anywhoo, so I meet these two fellows at a busy restaurant. "Mike" is wearing BDU's head to toe and a camoflaged beret. All over his jacket is "militia" patches and insignia. Todd is dressed a little less conspisously. I sit down and not TWO MINUTES into the conversation "Mike" chimes in with "so we are reconning bug out routes through your county here. Can you help us?" I think to myself "sure, well away from MY bugout route." Immediately after that "Mike" comes with "hey who are you working with? You MUST be in a group?" Hold the phone, now I'm getting a little aaahh upset, I don't know this guy from ADAM and he's make inquires I wouldn't tell some family members, if I was involved with anyone! I told him that I wasn't. He was ready for the 1-2 and came quickly with "Todd and I are putting together a group, we want you to join."
This was NOT how you go about it. I was previously concerned about "Mike" because he was VERY public, very boisterous and such. Now there was no way I wanted to even be around him. You see, there is a real danger in coming off TOO blunt.
Just like in selling, there is a time to be blunt and to attempt to "close" but it's only after some sembalence of a relationship is built, NOT at the start of it.
Start by just getting to know the person. I realize this isn't the "fast" approach with immediate gratification that everyone seeks now a days. But this is the approach that usually WORKS.
You want to know AHEAD of time if the person really isn't very serious (see above) or if there is any serious family issues that would preclude there involvement in a survival group.
After the initial meeting, it's important to STAY IN CONTACT with the person. This shouldn't necessarily be on a DAILY basis, but you should keep up with them.
Many groups want to get the families involved so the logical next step would be to meet the family of the prospect and hopefully see them interact for a day or so. Even something like a BBQ/picnic can be revealing. Again, it's not 100% necessary for the family to always be involved, what's important is that the family:
1. Understands what they are getting in to. That it isn't just a "guy" thing and that it's important for spouses and children to learn certain skills, learn how to work in a group setting and perhaps, how to interact with other group members (lots of folks lack "social skills" now a days, no nice way to say it!)
2. Supports the efforts of the prospect. Some spouses and family members may not want to actively participate and in most cases, that's fine. But they should not HINDER OR PRECLUDE the prospect from interacting with the group- OVERTLY OR COVERTLY. You don't know how many times I've seen grown men pulled away from get togethers because a nagging spouse can't understand why they would want to go and sweat there butts off for the weekend. Again, this is very important, you don't want to "invest" a year or so into this prospect only to find that his wife "won't allow" him to prep or come to events. 99.9% of the time, if the family is following the structure set up by the Lord for the family (Father= leader and head of household not just in title but in reality, then Mother then children) you won't ever see a problem with this. If the "family" is following the "world's way" (Children on top, then mom then at the bottom dad) I can pretty much GUARANTEE YOU you will see this problem come up, and I don't care if the wife is more of a survivalist than the husband!
An important thing to also consider is that when you ARE given some type of invitation from a group, it's important that if you are interested that you ACT on it. Some folks have the mistaken idea that they can "know of" a group or even know the location of a real group, show up after the fact and obtain de facto benefits of group membership. SORRY CHARLIE THAT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN 99.5% OF THE TIME! Also important to understand is that "invitations" are usually only given once, twice at the most, after that it is assumed that the person is either A. Not really interested or B. Not serious enough.
NOW is the time to meet, cement relationships together and form or join a group, NOT after the fact. If I can't trust you to show up to an invitation NOW, I damn sure can't trust you later on. THAT is the simple fact of the matter!
You cannot expect to just "get your foot in the door" with a group, never do anything more and then "show up" when the time comes. Any REAL group will not accept this. They MAY help you, but they may not also, depending on circumstances. You can pretty much be assured that you won't be suddenly allowed de facto membership or even a "probationary" group membership. Great stuff for FICTION STORIES, not for real life......
So what does this mean? It means you'll have to get off your butt and MAKE SOME EFFORT. It means if you are SERIOUS about joining up with others you better get to work!
RH
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